By Avi Ciment
A Rebbi’s Influence Can Change a Life
There is no doubt that a rebbe can make or break a student and alter a student’s trajectory, affecting their very destiny. I struggled with ADHD and learning disabilities, coupled with a severe disinterest in anything school-related, so it’s safe to assume I wasn’t high on their list of great students. More likely, I was top on a different list — something like “most likely to attend summer school.”
Thankfully, it only takes a few.
Rabbi Shraga Gross: A Leader Who Saw the Soul
In 1989, I was a 12th grader doing very poorly in school and generally disliked by most rabbis, and no doubt the sentiment was mutual.
One day, literally out of the blue, a young, dynamic rabbi whom I remembered from my youth by the name of Rabbi Shraga Gross took over as principal of Hebrew Academy. Aside from coming from royalty — his parents built the first day school in South Florida almost 75 years ago — his love of Torah and klal Yisroel was palpable from the moment he came to town.
He was universally loved because his ultimate goal was bringing people closer to God and His Torah. Plain and simple.
Although I only had him for one year, all I remember was his sincerity and kindness.
When I left for my gap year in Israel, he eventually moved to New Jersey where he, along with his eishes chayil Shira, continued his legacy of teaching Torah.
The Rebbe Who Believed in Me
My year in Israel proved to be an eye-opener, but I was still wild and once again most of the rabbis didn’t like me.
Except one.
His name was Rabbi Hirschorn.
He had the vision to overlook my immaturity and ADHD and treated me with kindness and patience. One day he somehow gave me the idea that I had some spiritual potential.
I’m not really sure why, but I always remembered his encouragement.
I also admired his complete devotion to learning Torah, yishuv haaretz, and raising an unbelievable family with his wife Sarah in Neveh Daniel.
Mentors Who Change a Student’s Destiny
The following year I made my way to Yeshiva University where once again I failed every Talmud test.
Luckily, unlike my high school years where my home was barraged with daily conduct referrals for failing and misbehaving, I met an angel by the name of Rabbi Aaron Selevan.
His credentials were far beyond teaching individuals such as myself, yet that didn’t stop him from educating all kinds with brilliance and patience, constantly inviting students for Shabbos meals.
After Yeshiva University I spent time at Ohr Sameach where I had the good fortune to find a powerhouse of a rav named Rav Yehoshua Bertram.
Not just an all-star basketball player, this towering angel was (and still is) a magnet for Torah and ahavat Yisroel.
He has changed the lives of so many because of his concern and constant devotion to Torah and doing the Ratzon Hashem.
Plain and simple.
When the Student Returns as the Teacher
Fast forward 35 years, and I’m on a lecture tour for my book “Real Questions Real Answers,” speaking and visiting these very rabbis.
Only this time, the student came as a teacher.
My first stop was Nitivei Hatorah, where Rav Gross was doing exactly what I remembered from 35 years ago — singing nigunim with his boys before learning Torah and creating a positive energy.
Sporting a suit, tie, and cufflinks, Rav Shraga was running a well-oiled machine, infusing his divrei Torah as only he can and touching the very neshamas of the students he teaches.
As an adult, it’s easy to see what made him so successful all of these years.
Seeing Students for Who They Can Become
My next stop was Nitivei Hatorah where I found my rebbe, Rabbi Hirschorn, doing the same thing he was doing 35 years ago — preparing for a class with copious notes.
He introduced me as his craziest student ever.
Yet without his patience and wisdom, I’m pretty certain my life would have had a different outcome.
I also made a trek to Matisdorf where I had the zechut of seeing Rav Bertram, shlita.
Not surprisingly, he was being visited by another old student whose life he had clearly changed along with countless others.
Rav Selevan left Yeshiva University and today his shiurim are legendary. He is a sought-after lecturer throughout Canada and beyond.
The Secret of Great Torah Teachers
What was it about all of these angels that allowed them to see me — and other kids that didn’t fit the mold — in a different light when so many others couldn’t?
I believe what allowed them to see the forest from the trees was looking at the heart and not necessarily the words or brains of their students.
All of these rabbis are extremely educated and accomplished teachers.
Yet they were able to see beyond the obvious.
They chose to place their egos on hold and look beyond the silliness and lack of intellectual understanding.
Instead, they focused on Jewish neshamas that simply needed more patience.
A Lesson from the Rebbes
This is perhaps the key ingredient to their unique success.
Amazingly, each of these rabbis are not only teaching with the same passion they had 35 years ago — but even more so.
They continue growing in their own learning as well.
I remember when Rabbi Gross walked me out after my lecture and removed a piece of paper from his wallet.
It was a list of all the Gemaras he wished to complete.
Even after a full day of teaching students and building a yeshiva, he’s still a student just like you and me.
Mamish givaldik.
Seeing the Soul of Every Student
All of these great men chose to look beyond the outward and see people on a deeper level.
Didn’t Hashem tell Jonah not to judge the people of Nineveh at face value?
How many students are marginalized because they don’t fit into the box — yet often have untapped spiritual potential lying dormant and undeveloped?
My father often speaks of the metaphoric telescope — the idea of bringing faraway things much closer.
Whenever you look at something, project 30 years ahead and envision its outcome rather than simply seeing what it is today.
I guess these rabbis had their own telescopes and chose to see their students as far more than students.
“I Don’t Have Students — I Have Children”
Rabbi Shraga Gross’ father, Rav Sender Gross, z”l, built the Hebrew Academy nearly 75 years ago.
As an eight-year-old boy, I vividly remember how he always referred to us as his “kinder.”
He even kept a file on many of his students, monitoring their progress as they grew older.
To Rabbi Gross, we weren’t just another number.
He saw us as Jewish souls.
No doubt these lessons trickled down to all of his children, who continue his great legacy.
Indeed, the secret to all great rebbes can be encapsulated by what Rav Shraga, shlita, mentioned to me on more than one occasion:
“I don’t have students — I have children.”
About the Author: Avi Ciment
Avi Ciment is a Jewish author, lecturer, and columnist whose writings on Torah, Jewish identity, and contemporary Orthodox life have appeared in publications including The Jewish Press, The Jewish Link, and Aish.com. He is the author of Real Questions, Real Answers and lectures internationally on faith, Torah thought, and Jewish inspiration. Through his platform Avi Talks Torah, he shares short Torah insights and educational messages with audiences across social media.
Students at Yeshivat Reishit Yerushalayim come from across the Jewish world to study Torah in the heart of Jerusalem while building a deeper connection to Jewish tradition, Jewish learning, and the spiritual heritage of Am Yisrael.
Rabbi Shraga (Shragi) Gross is widely respected for his dedication to Torah education and his lifelong commitment to helping students grow spiritually and intellectually. Known for his warmth, sincerity, and powerful teaching style, Rabbi Gross has influenced generations of students through his leadership, mentorship, and deep love for Torah and Klal Yisrael.
Rabbi Gross comes from a family deeply connected to Jewish education. His father, Rav Sender Gross (RASG), z”l, was a pioneering Jewish educator who helped establish one of the first Jewish day schools in Miami, Florida, helping lay the foundation for Jewish education in South Florida more than 70 years ago.
The legacy of Rav Sender Gross continues through his children and grandchildren, who have continued to strengthen Torah education and Jewish life in communities across the United States and Israel.
